Family – Hot Mess Mom

A lesson on Grief.

Grief is the strangest thing.
It comes and it goes with no rhyme or reason.

For those of you who don’t know, my precious grandmother passed away on July 30th. She was almost ninety-five years-old.
I knew it was coming…eventually.
I knew she hadn’t been feeling well.
But somehow, I was blindsided.

It’s so crazy how someone who is so vibrant and full of life can just be gone.
Ceases to exist.

I don’t even know how I’m doing.
I’m functioning normally.
I think I am happy.
Some days, I think I am totally rocking this.
Other days, the void feels less like a leap and more like a canyon.

I try to look at the situation from a cognitive approach.
She was ninety-five.
She lived a long time.
She was ready to go.
Every one dies.

Some days that works.
Other days, my soul is so unsettled.
I have dreamt of her every single night since she passed away.
My daughter, talks about her every day.
She surrounds me in my home.
Her china is in my cabinet.
Her vases are in my kitchen.
I am wrapped in her favorite blanket every night.

Most of the time her things bring me comfort.
Other times, they bring me pain.

That song, five more minutes.
It is a song always on my lips.
What I wouldn’t give for just five more minutes.

My grandma was not an average grandma.
I didn’t just see her on holidays and special occasions.
She was my best friend.
When Trey and I were first married and moved to KC, grandma would come and stay for weekends or even weeks at a time.
We would stay up until 12 or 1 in the morning cuddled on the couch under a blanket watching movies.
When Rock Band was the cool game on the wii, she and I would play together.
Her singing and me playing the guitar.

I talked to her multiple times a week on the phone.
I looked forward to seeing her on weekends when we would go home.
I named my daughter after her.
She watched me every day when I was little.
My cousin and I have a lifetime of memories from spending our childhood at that red house on Z highway.

I just wish I had five minutes to tell her how much I miss her.
I would tell her how my heart aches to hear her laugh.
I would tell her that Chloe talks about her every. single. day.
I would tell her Chloe carries around jewels that she calls her Gramma, Jewell.
I would tell her how Chloe talks about grandma and Jesus.
I would tell her that no place here is safe.
…I see her at Nebraska Furniture Mart..we frequented it when she came to visit.
…I see her at our old apartment watching movies with us.
…I see her Chili’s eating ribs that she declared were the best ones she had ever had.
…I see her at Garmin visiting Trey.
…I see her at the hospital I delivered each baby.
…I see her in every red sparkly thing.
…I see her at UMKC, she was at both of my graduations. She was my biggest fan.
…I see her in our Church…the one she loved to visit.
…I see her in every flower.
…I see her on 151st Street at the exact stoplight I was stopped at when she said, “Courty, you are such a good little momma.”
…I see her when I watch Andy Griffith, or Mama’s Family, or Full- House, or her beloved Larry the Cable Guy.
…I hear her voice singing I’ll Fly Away, Amazing Grace, or Beulah Land.

I now cannot bear to listen to the last voice mail she left me because it encompasses me in a wave of grief.
I am dreading Thanksgiving.
I want to skip Christmas.
I can’t even bear to think about what her last Thanksgiving and Christmas were like. Those memories haunt me.
Why didn’t I cherish each last memory?
Why couldn’t I just “know” it was the last?

Why does this have to hurt so bad?
Why has it ONLY been three months?
Why do I have to wait a lifetime to see her face again?
Why will I eventually be alive longer without her than I was with her?

Grief, I HATE you.

If you’re grieving, know there are others right there with you.
If you aren’t grieving, be there for someone who is.

Grief doesn’t have an expiration date.
It doesn’t go away.
I hear it lessens. I hope I can attest to it one day.

Don’t say, “God really needed them in Heaven.”
“They are in a better place.”
“She wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
“Cheer up! It will be ok.”
“You’ll see her again one day.”

While I believe all of those things, they dismiss the pain I am in.
I know she is in a better place.
I know she has been rewarded for the work she put in here.
I know she is rejoicing.
I know she would’nt come back.

But, I WANT HER.
I MISS HER.
My heart ACHES.
My momma is sad.
My dad is sad.
My sisters are sad.
My kids are missing out.
My nephew will never know her.
It SUCKS. IT ISN’T FAIR. I DON’T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT HER.

I’m happy for her.
But I am so sad for ME.

I know, God comforts the broken-hearted.
I feel His presence.
I have hope I will be reunited with her.
As a Christian, I know those things.
But I still live in this broken world.
My heart will continue to be broken regardless of how close I walk with the Lord.

Instead, say, “This sucks. I’m so sorry you are hurting.”
“Grief is awful.”
“What a profound loss you must be feeling.”
“I know your heart is aching. I know that feeling.”
“Tell me about them.”
“What is the funniest memory you have?”
“What is one memory you’ve had since they passed you wish they could
seen?”

News flash. Bringing them up will not remind the person they have died.
They know. They haven’t forgotten.
Talking about that person is the only way to keep them alive.
So talk about them.
Listen to the stories.
Be there to just sit in the ugly and the brokenness.
Everyone experiences grief.
Everyone.

Feel it.
Experience it.
Don’t push it away.
Don’t hurry it.
Honor it.
Understand that changing the subject, avoiding it, and pretending it didn’t happen only make the hurt worse.
Grief is there whether we acknowledge it or not.
The only way to lessen the sting is to walk through it.

Be a friend to someone.
Especially in this season.
This is someone’s first Holiday Season without their precious loved one.
It also might be someone’s 45th Holiday Season without their precious loved one.
While it gets less intense, I guarantee the loved ones still ache for them.
Talk about them.
Let them know that their loved one had an impact on your life and that you also miss them.

Don’t dismiss someone’s loss with flippant “Christian phrases”.
Just because you are a Christian doesn’t mean that we are sheltered from the cruelty of this world.
We aren’t.
Treat someone the way you would want them to treat you if you were in the ocean that is grief.

Love one another.

Chasing Perfect.

Processed with VSCO with kp3 preset

Perfectionism.

It’s a daily struggle.
I find myself in pure bliss when every single thing has been checked off my to-do list.
The house is clean.
Kids bathed.
Appointments scheduled.
Dog fed/bathed.
Laundry done & put away.
Workout done.
Prayer time done.
Homework done.

The problem is, I’m either too exhausted by the end of that list to enjoy it or, it rarely happens. Which totally leaves me in a dangerous place of hanging my happiness on whether or not my list is complete.

In my (therapizing) myself, (What the hubs says I do to him) I have figured out that the to -do list makes me feel safe and in control.

While on those “magical days” I feel perfectly content, on those other days when all of the things don’t get done, I feel out of control.

Satan begins restructure my self-esteem in a way that tells me I am only as good as the things I have completed or produced. While there are many many issues with perfectionism, I think the most dangerous part is that it gives Satan a little bit of room to wiggle our lives.

If he can’t control my behavior, my mind is the next best thing. It’s not likely that you’ll find me shoplifting or engaging in another unlawful act. But, on any given day, you may find my mind in places it shouldn’t be.

If I haven’t checked my list off, if I haven’t made it to the gym, if I ate something I shouldn’t have, if I slept in instead of reading my Bible, if I yelled at my kids, if I didn’t really listen when my husband told me about his day, if I wasn’t patient with my two-year old, then I am a failure.

I’m not as good as my neighbor across the street who spends her days playing with her kids instead of doing homework and cleaning.

I’m not as good as the single- mom who spends all of her free time volunteering at church.

I’m not as good as the other grad student who has practiced her skills three times each week.

Or, as good as the girl who got a 98% on her midterm instead of my measly 95%. It must mean I am not meant to be a counselor. Who would want to come to a counselor who got a 95% on their midterm? Certainly not me. (Kidding. I am making a point about how DUMB my thoughts are).

…you do it too. You just may not be willing to admit it. But behind that screen, you’ve wondered why you’re not as…(whatever) as the person you’re looking at on social media.

If our self-image comes from a comparison with someone else or a comparison with the perfect version of ourselves we believe we should be, we will never ever be good enough. Hear that. We will never be good enough. The instrument we use to measure ourselves will always be changing.

If I want to lose weight…I do…but then I’m not thin enough.
If I want to make more money, I do, but then it’s not enough.
If I want to be a better parent, I am, but not as good as the mom across the street.

There’s always going to be someone who is smarter, prettier, thinner, more fit, funnier, wittier, richer, more acclaimed, more well-known, etc. It is a pointless race that keeps our mind on things that don’t matter.

Well, not that they don’t matter, but comparing ourselves to someone else is a futile endeavor. It gets us nowhere but frustrated.

Some weeks, I get up at 5am and read my Bible for an hour and pray for 30 minutes. Then, I go to the gym. Other weeks, I don’t make it out of bed at 5 and sometimes I don’t make it to the gym. I bet you can guess how my self-esteem is on the days I don’t do those things.

I wonder if you could guess where my relationship with God is on the days I haven’t gotten up early?

If you guess not close, you’re right.

I feel completely disconnected.
I used to think it was because I was not disciplined enough.
I used to think it was because God required me to give him that devotion every single day for an hour and a half. If I didn’t, it must mean I don’t love God as much as I claim to. The honest truth was that I pulled away from him because I felt that if I didn’t do those things, then I wasn’t worthy of his love.

I’m not worthy of his love.
But he didn’t pull away from me, I pulled away from him because I THOUGHT that he would only want me if I was coming to him every single day for exactly 90 minutes.

Then, one day, the Holy Sprit spoke to me and said, “You’re making our relationship a to-do list. It’s not about what you do or don’t do. It’s about me.”

See how Satan does that?
By setting this ridiculous standard for myself in all areas of my life, he managed to wiggle into my relationship with God. He shifted my eyes from Jesus and to myself.
It stopped being about who He Is and it became who I am.

I let Satan in.
I let him in my mind when I started comparing.

While those things didn’t immediately affect my relationship with God, slowly but surely my perfectionism ended exactly where I never intended.

The point of all of this? Be so very careful what you allow yourself to think. Your thoughts have SO much power. Control your thoughts. Don’t let them control you. While you may not have any control over what thought pops into your mind, you absolutely have the power to decide whether or not you are going to spend any time thinking about it.

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5

Styling the Nest without Breaking the Bank.

I LOVE to decorate.

I’m completely obsessed with the typical #basicwhitegirl style which is, you guessed it, farmhouse.

The thing is, I don’t live in a farmhouse or even anywhere near a farm.

I live in the suburbs. But I am FROM a small town so I feel like that kind of qualifies me to decorate with a farmhouse style. HA!

If I had all the money in the world, I would spend it on home decor, kids clothes, and workout clothes.

Well, and eyelash extensions. But…that goes without saying.

The problem is, I don’t have ALL the money in the world. More than that, I just don’t love spending a lot of money.

It gives me anxiety and a moody hubs…

So I have had to make AmazonPrime my friend and also my father-in-law who works at auctions! Totally winning for me. He brings me all kinds of fun antique finds.

I have changed this wall below ten different ways from Sunday.

This is my most recent masterpiece. I am sure I will change it again because I get bored with things quickly.

I adore canvas prints.

I think it gives such a classy and bol feel.

Gallery Wall

I purchased ALL of those canvases from Walmart.

I am not a photographer, and because I cannot tell high quality canvas from cheap, I choose cheap.

I bought the “This is us” picture from Jane.

I chose the “This is us” picture because again…#basicwhitegirl.

This next wall is my FAVORITE WALL OF ALL TIME.

I showed my husband a picture of what I wanted and it took him about two days to complete.

I found the sign at Smallwood Home.

I adore ALL of their signs and want them all over my house. They recently came out with the cutest wall scrolls that I absolutely need.

We are about to finish our basement.

I have pinned so many basement pictures of basements done in all shiplap.

Have any of ya’ll done that?

Any tips or tricks would be so welcome! Post them in the comments, please!!

I really like black&white photos. I decided to make a gallery wall of my favorite family pictures in our dining room.

The picture frames are from Walmart and were around $5 a frame.

Unfortunately, since we have two kids five and under, our dining room went from a playroom, to a dining room, back to the play room.

This decor does not match the playroom in any way, shape, or form. But, when we finish the basement all the toys are going downstairs and this will become my dining room for FOREVER.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

You need to stop what you’re doing right now and go to Target.

Hearth & Hand Magnolia is on clearance!!!!! Below is what I snagged.

The two large houses above were $12. One of those candles is from Target and was $2.

The other one is from two of my most favorite girls ever.

They make the most amazing smelling candles and they come in the cutest mason jars. Check them out on Instagram @southernscentcandle. They are made from soy and essential oils. They smell heavenly, are long-lasting, have no harsh chemicals, and you can snag one for $12

The greenery was in a box for $5.The blue candle holder was $2. Actually, I don’t know what it is. I’m using it as a candle holder.

Thanks for stopping by! Happy cheap decorating!

… and I was not paid by any of these companies. Wish I was, though! HA!

#homedecor #southernscentcandle #farmhousestyle #momblogger #hearthandhand #target #shiplaplove #magnolia # mynameismama #thenest #basicwhitegirl #givemethesimplelife #mystyledhome

“Change your thoughts and you will change your world”

In the past month I have changed. I started BeachBody because I needed something new. I needed something to call “my own”. Being a stay-at-home mom was awesome but I needed something to call mine besides my child. I know that a lot of you mommas can relate. I can tell you that I haven’t made millions yet…or even thousands…but what I have taken away from this business is PRICELESS.

“Change your thoughts and you will change your world” I don’t know who said that but it is GENIUS. I have always called myself a “realist” which is really just a fancy word for negative. I have gone through life thinking that I would be “lucky” to get this job or get that job. I would be “lucky” if this happened for me or if that happened for me. I was SO concerned with everyone else. FACEBOOK was my downfall. I was so concerned with why this person had that…why did that person have that. “Trey did you see this?” “Why don’t we have that” “We deserve that” “We work hard” YUCK! I was concerned with what everyone thought of us…of me. Why don’t they respect me? Why don’t they follow our rules when it comes to our child? Why do they dislike me? What did I do? Why can’t we have this amazing relationship? I mean it was ugly and a ridiculous way to live. When I started with this company on June 26, 2014 my life CHANGED.

I began to understand that it does not matter what others think of me. It matters what God thinks of me. He has given me SO much and what have I done with it? A whole bunch of NOTHING! At the end of my life, what will he say? Probably something like: “you missed it! I gave you this opportunity, I gave you this talent, you had everything you needed, but you were too concerned with everyone else” Ouch!

What do I KNOW about myself? I know that I am a good person. I am a great friend. I am compassionate. I am the most loyal person you will EVER meet. I am driven. I am passionate.I genuinely want to please God. That is my goal above all goals. I want to end my life and have used every talent and ability I have been given. I want to say to God…”I have NOTHING left”. What is great about you? What do you have to offer the world. God put something in you that is unique. He has a plan for YOU. What is it? What is God going to say to you at the end of your life?

My dad. You know him. And…I hope to have a legacy like he does. But guess what…God isn’t going to say “well done” to me because I have a great father. An example of one of my favorite things about my dad is he sends cards to people like crazy. Seriously! He remembers dates and events. He sends birthday cards, sympathy cards, he remembers dates when people have lost loved ones. People are BLESSED by that. He gives like it’s going out of style. He DOES for people. I told my husband one day, that I want to be like my dad but I can’t be like him until I start DOING and operating with what God has given me. I want to leave a legacy….what is it? I am 26 years old it’s time to start making one.

How do you begin to discover your talents and abilities? How do you tap into your calling? You have to stop thinking the way you are thinking! Stop with the negative thoughts. Those are from Satan and they will get you NOWHERE. Stop concerning yourself with everyone else. They don’t affect your life. Worry about YOURSELF! What are you good at? How can you bless others? What has God given YOU? What are you THINKING? What are you telling yourself?

The Bible teaches us that our words are POWERFUL. They will RETURN to you. Isaiah 55:11 says: “so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Proverbs 18:21 says: “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.” Speak positive things to yourself daily. Stop complaining. If there is a negative thought creeping in your head…dismiss it. Don’t dwell on it. The Bible tells us that we should only think about good things. Philippians 4:8 says:” And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Why is that important? Because our thoughts become our words and our words become our actions or our inaction. You might say: “I can’t help what I think” You can’t help what pops into your head..but you CAN DECIDE whether you entertain the thought. If something negative or hateful comes into your mind, instead of thinking about it, CHANGE your thinking. Think about something positive instead. Try it! It will change your world. It changed mine. Do I wake up sometimes with negative thoughts? Yes. Do I have bad days? Yes. Do I have to change my thinking daily? Yes. What puts you in a good mood? Do THAT thing when you are having an off day. Go for a run, do a craft, get on pinterest, dream, play with you kid…do whatever it is that makes you happy. If you need motivation, read a motivating book, listen to a podcast, read your BIble. Surround yourself with positive people and positive things. When you do that…everything changes. I promise!

I’ll leave you with a quote by the amazing Zig Ziglar “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing that’s why we recommend in daily”

BE POSITIVE. BE A BLESSING. USE WHAT GOD GAVE YOU! And…worry about YOURSELF!

{When time stopped}

The far left shadow box is from our wedding. The big clock is the time of our wedding.
The small clock is the time of little man’s birth. The right shadow box is all of his hospital stuff.

* I can’t take credit for this idea. I found it on pinterest. This is just my version of it

{Straight from my heart}

This one has been a long time coming. This blog has been torn straight from my heart…straight from my soul. I love to write and I write about semi-personal things. However, I have had this story on my heart since the day I started this blog. Now, now is the time.

As many of you may know our family has been through some rocky times. When I was in eighth grade my mom started getting sick. She and my dad visited the Mayo Clinic multiple times to figure out what was wrong with no luck. After numerous hospital visits, tests, possible diagnoses, and doctors she was diagnosed with something called NASH (non-alcoholic steato hepatitis). Which basically meant her liver was failing and for no apparent reason. She had none of the characteristics that a person typically diagnosed with this has. She had to stop teaching and was basically confined to our house and bed my whole high school career.

She suffered. We suffered. It was the single hardest thing I have ever faced. There were many times I questioned why my mom? Why us? What did we do? We had always went to church. We had always believed and trusted in God. So…why was this happening? My parents did a pretty good job of keeping my little sister and I sheltered from the worst of it. But sometimes, we peeked through the cracks and we saw the worst. In those times of weakness, sadness, worry, doubt, and death, HE was there.

He was there every time I saw my dad open his Bible to read. He was there in my Aunt’s unwavering faith. He was there when my mom and aunt habitually took the Lord’s supper. He was there in the form of a man that would end up being my husband. He was there in my grandmother’s prayers and my sisters’ tears. He was there in my mom’s strength. He was there when bills were paid. He was there in each meal or card we received. I remember finding verses on healing in the Bible and posting them all over our house. On the doors, in my mom’s room and her bathroom…everywhere. I would declare and pray the verses aloud every time I saw them. He was very much there.

She spent many many nights in the hospital. She was on a list to receive a transplant. She was called once around Christmas. However, she was too sick to undergo the transplant. We kept praying and believing…even when it looked impossible.

This picture is from Hoop Queen the January before she received her transplant. She had just had a liver biopsy (if I remember correctly) and was sent home with a pain patch. JUST so she could watch my sister and I walk for Hoop Queen. She was in so much pain. She was so strong.

If my mom ever reads this I will be in SO much trouble for sharing this picture. She hates it. So do I. It tears at my heart each time I see it. Our storm…her storm looked impossible that night. I was afraid I was losing my mom and I was afraid I was losing her quickly.Fast forward to May and we got THE CALL. The one that meant she would be saved. This hell was over. We packed up and left in the middle of the night to drive to St. Louis. I still remember stopping at the gas station with Trey, Shelley, and Ciara. I remember being so excited, nervous, scared, and thankful. I remember the song that played over the speakers outside the gas station “everything is going to be alright…rock a bye”. I felt like that was God calming my fears. We all thought it was our happily ever after.Fast forward a few hours. My mom has been prepped for surgery and is waiting to go in. We get a call. Its a NO GO. The liver from the donor is BAD. I cannot remember a time I have been more angry at God. I was so heartbroken. I remember thinking “really? Is this a joke to you? Do you think this is funny?” So back we went to the “normal” we knew. I remember her…she was so strong. She was so positive and HER faith was astonishing. Mine, mine was diminishing by the second.

Three months later we receive another call…at night (because for some reason these things don’t happen during the day). It was my dad’s birthday. I called my boyfriend (my hubs now) he was in Detroit interning at General Motors. He told me he would be on the first flight he could catch. I remember walking downstairs cautiously excited. My dad was in the living room getting things organized. I remember asking him “how do you know this is going to work? it will probably be bad again!” His reply, I will remember all my life…”Let’s pray”. Right there, in the middle of our living room, my little sister and I joined hands with my parents as my dad led us in the most powerful prayer I have ever heard. A few hours later…well a lot of hours later, my mom had a new liver.

The day my mom came home with her new liver. HIS grace is sufficient.

I told you all of that to tell you this. No matter what your storm is, God is BIGGER. I have been struggling with some things. I have been struggling with personal, little, everyday things. I haven’t been able to shake them,no matter what I do. Tonight at church we sang Cornerstone. The part that spoke to me is this:Christ alone; cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Savior’s love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of allAnd then he spoke to my heart. He asked me why I trusted him with my mom but I couldn’t trust him with my own personal struggles. Why do I keep picking up those struggles up seconds after laying them at his feet? Then I thought about the lyrics…Through the storm HE IS LORD.

He is the God who made the Universe. He is the God who hung the stars. He is the God who knew us before we were born. So, why can’t I trust this awesome God with something so small? Because, instead of letting go and letting God, I tried to control the problem. You see, with my mom, I had no control. I HAD to give it to him. With big things in my life I have no control. But with little things I think I have control. In my own arrogance I decide to help God.

God doesn’t need our help. Whatever you are going through…know that our God’s grace is sufficient. If he can hang stars and form the mountains and heal my mom, he can take care of whatever you are facing. Let go, and Let God.

My sweet Jesus healed my mom. I am SO thankful he did. Because without his perfect blood, I wouldn’t have these moments.

– Court

14 Comments

{Christmas Conflict}

It’s 5am so this blog may be more rambling than anything else (you can’t say I didn’t that warn you). I can’t sleep. I woke up thinking about Christmas and the never ending list that still needs to be taken care of. There are toys that still need to be bought, gifts to be sent, and cards that need addressed. It seems that every year I am equally as stressed about all of these things. Since I couldn’t sleep, I went downstairs and got on my Ipad. I wanted to make a list because that’s how I deal with all of the mess that goes on inside my head. During my list making, my little man woke up. I went to get him to feed him. My husband woke up and wanted to know what I was doing (he usually takes the night feedings…yes, I know, I’m spoiled). I told him I was already awake and explained my thoughts. He told me that I always have to find something to stress about, this is true. That leads me to the point of all my rambling. Why does Christmas bring so much stress? It is supposed to be a celebration of our savior’s birth. Yet, we have complicated it as only we can do. We have turned it into this commercialized mess.

I’m certain, that years down the road, my child is going to ask me why he received three presents instead of four. He will be so upset that I didn’t get him that rocking horse he so desperately wanted at six months of age. He will be scarred for life.
Why do we do this? Is it because we have become brainwashed by society? Is it because we feel like we can buy happiness? No, I don’t think that is the correct answer. I mean…I’m sure many believe that. I don’t. It is not my truth.

I’m going off base for a minute. My love language is words of affirmation. For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, pick up a copy of the five love languages, it will change your world. Anyway, my primary love language is not gift giving, but it runs a close second. Receiving gifts is not my thing, my thing is giving them. Before you start to think I am super materialistic, I am not. In fact, in a lot of ways, I am the opposite. I love giving gifts. I love seeing the reaction. I love seeing the person’s eyes light up. I love letting them know that they are thought of, and that they are very special to me.

This is why I go overboard with Christmas. This is why I stress so much. I want everyone to feel the joy and excitement of the day. And… to be completely honest, I do love being the person who got someone the “perfect gift”.

The conflict that I have, is that I also feel very selfish and materialistic when I think of all of those that don’t have. I think of those that struggle to just give one gift to their children. I start to think about how precious life is. I think about how none of these things really matter. I think about how I can’t even remember what I got for Christmas last year. I’m sure you probably can’t remember what you got either. Then, I hate myself for worrying so much about how many gifts my 6 month old will open. How ugly is that? It’s pretty ugly.

Sadly, I will probably always have this struggle. I will continue to buy gifts and worry about them being the right ones. I will worry if one my my family members got the gift they were so wanting. And…I will still lay awake some nights wondering why I am so blessed to have these problems. If you have the same problem as me, don’t beat yourself up. You genuinely want to bring joy to others. Remember, that whether or not your kid got one more gift really doesn’t matter (if it does matter, then we should be having a “come to Jesus meeting” with our children). Maybe, instead of giving that one more gift to your child, find a child that is in need and give it to them. If gift giving is your thing, don’t feel bad about it. Just make sure that you are also giving to those in need. And…that you are thanking God daily for the blessings that you have been given.

Happy gift giving 🙂

– Court
p.s.
sorry for the rambling. now I can sleep!

This is a “gift” that my nephew (5yrs at the time) gave his mom for her birthday. Proof that gift giving really comes from the heart 🙂

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: